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If you've been on the internet any length of time, you've been asked
to believe all sorts of loony tripe. People are really reptillians
when you pull their skin off, a sinister race of greys is combining
your DNA with cattle DNA to create supercattle, Atlantean survivors
are trying to return the world to a technological utopia, the Masons,
Cub Scouts, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hellfire Club, Republicans,
Pizza Delivery Guys, and each and every other exclusive club or religious
group is out to... well, we're not really sure, but whatever it is, it
can't be good. Once upon a time, the only way to save ourselves from all
this was to buy something, or join the lowest ranks of a secret club,
or maybe just sort our trash into different cans. The internet, however,
has ruined everything.
Today, the only hope for mankind to stave off the always ready and waiting
sword of Damacles is to wade through page after page after page after page
of people ranting and raving about how numbers don't mean what THEY want
you to think they mean, how up is down, and how everyone who didn't let
some guy with a website go to MIT and preach his tripe is going to
implode. We're pretty screwed, and there are several deities waiting, just
waiting, for the stars to be right and just the right number of people to
stop listening. They'll be there, manipulating T-1000 robots into pushing
your elderly down the stairs onto warheads snuck into the country. But not
you; you remembered your rings of immortality.
Navigating the mythos of the internet is, in short, not easy work.
Especially when we have this nasty habit of making deities out of Pasta and
old Nintendo characters. This site, then, is a once-rational man's attempt
at reading through, making sense of, and linking everyone's paranoid
fantasies. I will be linking to real websites from (probably) real people
throughout, but please don't think that linking is, in this case, endorsing.
No, I'm linking because it's the only way I can prove I'm not making this
up. Please, also, do not think of this as any sort of mystical search
for truth. This is simply one man who has seen the depths of the internet
barrel for what they are, and is presenting both a warning against looking too
deep for the weak stomached, and an encyclopedia for those, like me, who are
both appalled and unable to look away.
Enjoy!
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