Length: Tome of Semicoherent Ramblings. Yes, I whipped out the big guns. Why? He has a book. Not only does he want you to read several full-length articles, he wants you to read his friggin book. It's all the same thing, too. He starts from random myths, folktales, and ramblings, and links them to his little theory that these stories are all describing... well, I'm not exactly sure. He makes it clear that all these stories are "related", and describing the same creature (or set of creatures), but that's all you get. No hit dice, no XP values, not even a favorite food. This is the site you want if you ever end up in the hospital on the verge of being a vegetable, because you would need a few spare weeks and the capacity to be entertained by colors and possibly squiggly lines.

      Lucidity: Featherstitched Bagelmancy Incantations. Now, arguably, this guy can present things well, and has a wide range of well-researched references. Everything is extremely well documented and consistent. The problem is that all his source material seems to have come straight out of, well, Narnia, the Ravenloft campaign world, Candyland, and just a little Sliders for good measure. And his premises are usually pretty nuts to begin with. Basically, if you told him to prove that every dozen eggs contains a message from God concerning oral hygiene, he'd write a three page thesis on Mario Brothers, link it to eggs, and try his damndest to make it sound convincing.

      Readability: English. Way, way too much, but it's english.

      Annoyance: Midirable. At one point, I almost thought he had a sense of humor, even if it's the Bert and Ernie variety. Then, I read his tribute to the great flame wars of the late nineties. This isn't script kiddies threatening to haxor eachother. This isn't a lame internet threat to gather up one's posse and drive by some mofo. This isn't two people pretending to spew details of eachother's personal lives to an audience that doesn't actually care. This is the real deal. Two people bringing up every minute detail and piece of trivia that catches their eye and debating it to the point of pointlessness. Every post completely contradicts the previous post, and both parties positions flip-flop wildly. But that's not the point. The point isn't to be right. The point is to be more educated, eloquent, and when all else fails, ballsy and brazen enough to use google to become an expert on everything from quantum mechanics to raising orphan kittens in the shortest amount of time (usually hours, sometimes minutes, and sometimes the page doesn't actually load). This, in short, is how Real Geeks fight. It's a tradition that goes back to medieval jousts, except medieval knights got laid more often than modern knights (despite wearing basically the same clothing and talking basically the same way). To make it entertaining enough to read through, I reccomend pretending Mott is a talking AIDS quilt from a future he came back in time to prevent, and the Odd Emperor is a talking George Foreman grill, on a noble quest to experience the human emotion known as "love" while at the same time grillin' a bitchin' steak. That's pretty much the only way you're gonna get through that page. Good luck.

      Accuracy: Any Terrible Fanfic. Everything, and I mean everything, revolves around his pet theory. He starts and ends at his conclusion, and falsifiability isn't even an afterthought. Everything else is just nuts.